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OMGOSH! OMGOSH! OMGOSH!

My interview with the MOE is on the 3rd.
I got to start drawing and painting again.
I don't think my current portfolio will help.
I got to do better. I have to focus. I'm gonna earn it by myself.
I can't let anything be on my way.
Insyallah, I will make it.

Pray for me people.

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OMGOSH! OMGOSH! OMGOSH!

I got shortlisted for the Art teaching thingy!
Great, now I’m in a dilemma again.

Practice Makes Perfect

The drawings on the left were drawn last few years ago. I think i've improved a lot, no? Nah, i still got room to learn more. I'm still afraid to/can't draw/paint certain things. For example, i can't paint human faces. So yeah, the painting i did on Peter and Sylar is actually my first attempt at painting portraits - that's why it's taking me forever to complete the painting. For all these years, i've never painted faces. Not even in school. Whenever we're told to paint something, i refrained myself from painting faces. But i'm willing to learn even if it takes years to perfection.

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OMGOSH! OMGOSH! OMGOSH!

Luckily i decided to check my e-mail today.
I received an e-mail from the MOE people regarding the Art teaching scheme.
And they told me to submit my O’lvl cert and other art certificates.
I really hope i get it.
I want it so badly.
Pray for me people.

Fazli

My brother blogged about me on his Blipfoto.
He pretty much summed up how fucked up and rad our lives are.
Go check it out.

No Future

Let me get one thing fucking straight.

I’m fucking sick and tired of hearing people saying, “ART?! No future lah”.
Yes, i do have a fucking future. It all depends on how you want your future to be. If there’s ‘no future’ when i get into NAFA, then why the fuck is MOE granting subsidies to students? Then why the fuck is MOE supporting NAFA?

WHY THE FUCK?!

I plan to do Diploma in Arts(teaching) in NAFA. And insyallah, one day i will become a teacher teaching art. That one NO FUTURE meh? I not trying to say anyone in particular. But,

Siapa makan chili, dia rasa pedas.

T_T

Yesterday, i made my mother cry.

For the first time in my life, i made her cry with tears of joy. Or i think she only cried because i was bawling like crazy when i called her. It’s safe to say that i finally made it. I finally achieved something that i never thought i could.

I think i did good. But my Malay pulled me down so bad. Really bad. Damn it! But Alhamdulillah, i’m happy with what i got. I did my very best. I put all my heart on this and i finally got what i want. Thank you Allah.

I woke up this morning with a big smile smacked on my face. It reminds me of my Sec 5 days. All the endless ranting about my Malay(still as bad as before). Tons of hours i spent on Art. Trying to cramp in as many Physics and Chemistry facts as possible. Practicing on as many Maths papers as possible. And i did it all by myself. I couldn’t get a tutor cause’ my mother could not afford it. I never had tuition classes. But hard work pays. And so does spending hours studying under the void deck with friends.

I really thank my mother for all the moral support she has given during the past year. Even though she hate the fact that i hardly have the time do house chores, she gave in. Although everyday i’m never home early, she understood. I pass my O level just for my mother because she’s been there from the beginning. And to prove to some people who looked down on her. Doesn’t mean my mother is illiterate, that doesn’t make me stupid. Because of her, i made it through. Now what say you?!

I’m not asking for any gift from her for passing my O’s cause’ she has given me a lot in the past year. I can’t thank her more. Thank you Allah. Everyday i pray to You to give me the strength and confidence to do my O’s. And my prayers have definitely been heard. Amin. Thank you to my brothers. Thank you Fazli, for being very supportive about my passion for Art. Thank you Firdaus. I know you’re happy for me even though you always make fun of my bad spelling and my atrocious malay. And thank you to my friends who have always been there for me. THANK YOU!

Right now, i have no idea what i should do. Too many choices. My heart wants what i want. Art School. But… T_T

..l..

So i was doing some research on random stuff and i came across something on Avatar. So you know me, Avatar freak, decided to check it out. The site is about how the major box office movies are doing. And you know how Avatar is doing?

$1,018,811,000 WORLDWIDE!

What comes after billion? Trillion eh? Mind you, i have never seen that many numbers before. Ok, i’m lying. The ones i see in Maths papers are usually in standard form. They never spelled it out in words. For example,

In 2008, the population in Singapore was 4,000,000. In 2009, the population increased by 15%. Find the number of people living in Singapore in 2009. Leaving your answer in standard form.

I never really cared if it was a thousand or a million. I only look at how many zeros or decimal places it has so that i can answer and move on to the next question. I never quite understand why they would give that kind of question. I know it’s a give away mark. But the most annoying part is, if you leave out a zero or forgot to write down a stupid sign, that 1 mark is gone. Eh, do you know how much value that 1 mark can carry? From D7 you can get C6 sia! BIG difference.

And these markers will always look for that kind of mistakes. I agree to a certain extent, that missing a zero do make a big difference in our answers. But i think these markers have microscopic eyes when it comes to question with negative sign. I hate it whenever there’s question with negative value. I get damn confused with the whole negative-and-negative-becomes-positive, positive-and-positive-becomes-positive or positive-and-negative-becomes-negative. Confusing like fuck until i forgot to write my sign. This is the part where these markers will take the opportunity to minus our marks. And if we got the answer correct, confirm, plus chop, they go through our workings. Just so they could at least minus half a mark. EH! Half mark can make a huge difference ok! Imagine you got 74.5 marks. From A2, you can get A1 sial!

I know i kiasu. BUT HELLO! It’s me vs the whole of Singapore ok! Tons of people are fighting for the same course as you. I just think that the education system here is so unfair. But hey, who am i to judge?

Come to think of it. I miss doing Maths. I miss cracking my head just to solve that one pathetic question.I miss banging my calculator against the table just to vent out my anger. I miss not giving up on that one fucked up question. I miss teaching Carmen. I miss having Farah and Nadiah sitting behind us get fucked up over that one question. I miss Mr Sim’s lame jokes. I miss drawing graphs. I miss how fun Maths is.

To tell you the truth, i thought the O’lvl maths paper was fun to do. But hais… I don’t want to be over confident. Skali fail. Sial ah i emo and slash my arms and legs sia.

One thing i learned through Maths is to never give up. It doesn’t matter if you got the question wrong. At least you tried. Besides, you’ll never know if you’re right or wrong if you didn’t try.

And i’ve never regretted getting into sec 5. Even though without the support from my relatives. I got a lot of people saying that it’s impossible to pass o'lvl. Now i have something to them bitches, IF YOU NEVER TRY YOU’LL NEVER KNOW. But hais… I don’t want to talk big. Skali fail. I emo x100 times and cut off my arms and limbs sia.

K, confirm i WILL cry on results day. Tears of joy or tears of sorrow? We’ll see.

Jimmy.

You will fade on into history, you
may be gone but your works are not
forgotten, live on
- Avenged Sevenfold.

I don’t know if i want to continue with this.
I could not paint since these past few days.
Thinking of doing a painting of The Rev as a tribute.
It’s just a thought.
No, i am not rotting at home. I am doing something productive