I'll be hanging by the window now.

Goodbye.

But it's only that one band.

Hi. Will update soon.
Bye.

"I'm over-existing in limbo
I'm over the myths and placebos
I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to die in obscurity
Cause I'm so tired to care that I got to go."


- Zzyxz Rd.

To be honest, this is what i want to do in life. To paint and draw my life away. I don't mind living poor but as long as i'm happy. And drawing and painting gives me that; happiness.

I love waking up and the first thing i think about is drawing/painting. And when i paint, it feels as if the whole world stops and my mind goes blank. Like there's nothing to worry about. Like the whole world is a better place. I know this sounds exaggerated, but that's how i feel. I don't know. You'll get what i mean when you found the one thing that makes you happy.

It's hard sometimes always being the odd one out. You're always made fun of and people always talk about you and won't take you seriously. Sometimes it feels like i'm living in a world of my own and it's hard to communicate with people. It's hard to relate to people, hard to make them understand you. And all i can do is to distance myself from them. It's not that i don't try, i tried but i'm tired. Tired of trying to fit in. Tired of making people understand me.

And that's why i turn to drawing/painting. 'Cause it's the one thing where i can pour my feelings out. I'd rather spend hours sitting by myself and paint than go out gallivanting. I know i sound like a lonesome loser but who cares?

To The Future

Dear future me, here is a list of what you should be doing, have done, or at least trying to do in 5 to 10 years time down the road. I wanna write it down on paper but it's the 21st century already. Also, don't delete this blog, even if you don't ever wanna blog again, just leave it dead.

• By now you should be earning your own monies already. If you're still feeding on mother's money, then shame on you. 

• Never work for the government except if you're teaching then that's fine. Do not fall into the hands of the corporate world

• If you're ever in love, in a relationship or getting married, make sure he has a mustache or beard or at least a stubble. 'Cause beards and mustaches are cool. If he doesn't have one, ask him to grow one. If he doesn't want to, then he's not the one.

• Get out of Singapore at least once.

• You're still drawing and painting and at least have sold one artwork.

• You're still playing music. At least have an improvement on the piano, yes?

• You're still rocking out to Avenged Sevenfold and still go for gigs.

• Listen to more folk music

• Do not sell your soul to the pop culture.

• If you're listening to KPOP, go kill yourself.

• You're number one priority is your mother. If you're ever moving out, at least visit her once a week, talk to her everyday even if it's for a minute, ask how she is. Remember, she has been with you since day one even when things get fucked up. Make sure she has a roof above her head.

• If you ever made up with father, good for you. But never rely on him. And if you haven't, do not keep grudges. It's rots up your heart. Forgive him and thank him for leaving. 'Cause you've learn't how hard life can be.

• You're cooking your own dinner

• Always be humble.

• Never lose your faith in god.

• You're doing what you love to do

Never ever ever, lose yourself. Do not stray to far from your roots. Be who you want to be and follow your heart, nothing will ever go wrong. Be yourself, even if you don't fit in, it's fine not to be common.

And if nothing good is happening for you, don't lose faith. 

This world is only temporary.