You are the Earth beneath my feet // You are my gravity

My pillar of strength. 

Let's put our middle fingers up in the air (or maybe just mine) and say FUCK YEAH and FUCK YOU to the people who looked down on you or us. People may come and go but you have been by my side since the day I was born. Today wouldn't have happen if it wasn't for all your support. Although times are hard and we might not have all the fine things in life, your support have made me strive and fight to do what I love and for a better future.

Today wasn't only about me, it's for you as well. I hope i have made you proud. And I know posting this wont make any sense but it's for me to look back and remind myself that you are my priority in life. It's time I pay you back. Love you, Maa.

I'll be hanging by the window now.

Goodbye.

But it's only that one band.

Hi. Will update soon.
Bye.

"I'm over-existing in limbo
I'm over the myths and placebos
I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to die in obscurity
Cause I'm so tired to care that I got to go."


- Zzyxz Rd.

To be honest, this is what i want to do in life. To paint and draw my life away. I don't mind living poor but as long as i'm happy. And drawing and painting gives me that; happiness.

I love waking up and the first thing i think about is drawing/painting. And when i paint, it feels as if the whole world stops and my mind goes blank. Like there's nothing to worry about. Like the whole world is a better place. I know this sounds exaggerated, but that's how i feel. I don't know. You'll get what i mean when you found the one thing that makes you happy.

It's hard sometimes always being the odd one out. You're always made fun of and people always talk about you and won't take you seriously. Sometimes it feels like i'm living in a world of my own and it's hard to communicate with people. It's hard to relate to people, hard to make them understand you. And all i can do is to distance myself from them. It's not that i don't try, i tried but i'm tired. Tired of trying to fit in. Tired of making people understand me.

And that's why i turn to drawing/painting. 'Cause it's the one thing where i can pour my feelings out. I'd rather spend hours sitting by myself and paint than go out gallivanting. I know i sound like a lonesome loser but who cares?