You know what sucks about being 21?
You're in that age where you have to think of boring grown up stuff and you're forced into having these awkward conversations with your mother or relatives. Which in my case, the topic of marriage have become quite the popular conversation piece. I hate it when my mother start nagging about being prepared for the married life, that i should really start learning how to cook and clean. Well, the cooking for the most part.
Sometimes I don't understand why my mother can't see that there is a possibility that I may never want to get married. I've seen what man can and will do. I've heard all these bullshit about not all men are the same but until i met the one than we'll talk.
For now, I'm just wanna concentrate on me.
I have nothing against men or anything. It's just that the men - my father and my brother - i had in my life are such assholes. Maybe these feelings of not wanting to commit could be due to the unfortunate childhood events i had to go through. Or maybe it's the fear of trust. I just don't want to go through the same shit again.
I need to learn to let go of the past.
